Barbecue, Paintball and Point Blank Shot
During our trip to Hawaii, we had many memorable days. However, a particular day comes to my mind instantly when I talk about our trip and it’s the paintball day we spent on a US Army base.
The day started perfectly with a breakfast on the barbecue. Obviously! My story could have ended there and it would have been the story of a perfect day. But we’ve pushed the limits a little bit.
After an hour of driving through almost the entire island of Oahu, we arrived at the paintball field. Our team was composed of 7 warriors more or less experienced. The confidence of the troop was good because J-P had done paintball competition in the past. We were ready to fight our enemies!
As the fight start, Max immediately entered in his heroic character of Rambo. From our point of view, he was getting more into the Hunger Games character who grabs the attention and finish quickly eliminated. The most unpredictable soldier in our battalion was Ariane, the General Manager at BBQ Quebec. She said she had once played paintball but we all felt she has come to please us.
The game finally started and we were doing great. Two of our men gave up at the beginning of the game pretending to be injured. Max did what I had predicted: being shot in the back by our enemies. J-P and I were blaming the moisture that was fogging our mask and blurring our vision. Maybe eating eggs, bacon and sausage before paintball didn’t help us out… but it’s just a theory. Ariane, meanwhile, crawled on the ground and shot her opponents one by one.
Time was running and the ending of our fight finally came, so before leaving the field, we’ve decided to fight in teams of two to use all the paintballs we had left. Ariane teamed up with J-P and me with Max.
From the start, J-P attacked Max and me as if we were raw ribs of beef.
Caught unprepared, Max and I had to hide behind a barricade to fight back. The bullets were whistling on all sides and we were starting to feel like in the movie “Saving Private Ryan”.
Fortunately, we finally heard J-P sworn, suggesting that we had eliminated him. We were about to continue fighting when Max screamed and a sharp pain pinched my shoulder blade.
Our alpha-male reflexes took over, commanding our muscles to curl up and our voices to complain that it was cheating. Yes… Ariane, out of nowhere, took the opportunity to shoot us both at close range.
As loud as our complaints were, nothing could bury the powerful laughter and primitive dance that Ariane served us. The crowd at the duel screamed of joy to add to our humiliation of being beaten by a woman (this infrequent and childish reaction was fueled by the war game).
Funnily, this paintball game exactly reflected the BBQ reality. Guys, we got used to the BBQ as we got used to the war games. When a girl tries to join the group, she is underestimated and may be sad.
Still, we would probably all win if we were letting our girlfriends take the control more often of the grill. Maybe we could let them be part of the game a little bit more and let them feel the joys of flame, fire and smoke. Max and I know one thing: we prefer that our BBQ recipes been beaten by Ariane than to feel again the pain of being shot in the back at close range.
Ladies, feel pleased to take your place around the BBQ. We may be teasing you nicely at first, but at the end of the day, we’ll be happy to have you on our team.
PS: For those who believe this post has been romanticized, please note that there is a video of Ariane dancing her glorious victory. Thanks to the GoPro mounted on the barrel of her rifle!
Written by Tony Bélanger